Say What You Want to Get What You Want

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or tell your partner what you like. You’re working with your partner, and the best way to have good sex is to help each other get there. Communicate playfully and intentionally so it can be as fun and pleasurable as possible for both of you!


  • “I really want this to be good for you… What do you like? What do you not like?”

  • “Does ____ (activity) feel good to you? Would you prefer I do something different?”

  • “I’d really like to ___ (activity) — Would you be into that?”

  • “I really love it when my partner goes down on me— is that something you’d want to do?”

  • “What would make you feel more comfortable when we _____ (activity)?”

  • “How exactly should I go about doing that? Can you move my hand to show me?"

Illustration: D Wang Zhao

Illustration: D Wang Zhao